


do it for the vine

by jeanpls



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Being Boys, Eren warning him but of course he doesn't listen, Established Relationship, Jean being an idiot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeanpls/pseuds/jeanpls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Jean "does it for the vine" and Eren's skeptical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do it for the vine

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could tell you how this came about but I honestly have no idea. Jean's the victim of the idiot act because it seemed to suit him best. No offense, Jean.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 

"I can tell you right now that this isn’t going to end well." Eren watched with raised eyebrows as Jean stood in front of the sink, filling up a pot with boiling water. He lightly tossed Jean’s iPhone from hand to hand.

Jean shot him a smirk over his shoulder. “You live to ruin fun, don’t you?”

The taller boy shut the faucet off before grabbing the handles on either side of the pot that Jean’s mother had used last night to make chili. Today is was being used for a “science experiment” that Jean had read about on the internet. The article he had shown Eren had specifically advised against you trying it at home, but such was the way of Jean Kirschtein, you didn’t take others warnings into consideration until after you arrived at your own outcome.

Not for the first time, Eren wondered why how he ended up falling for the boy in front of him.

Jean smirked and waggled his eyebrows at Eren as he passed by him and made his way around the counter Eren was leaning against to the open slider door that led into the backyard. The Kirschtein’s typically had a backyard that was lush and green; Mrs. Kirschtein was a very proud green thumb and the boys often enjoyed sitting around a small campfire and drinking beers in the summer time. Now, though, the backyard was an expanse of white. The leafless trees looked skeletal and depressing, and their usual sitting place – a trampoline – was mounted with snow.

Eren followed behind his friend, proud that he had at least remembered to put on a jacket. The winter winds weren’t too severe today, but Eren pulled on his grey beanie anyway. As he watched Jean plant himself in the center of his backyard, steam rising out of the pot filled nearly to the brim with boiling water, Eren readied the camera on Jean’s iPhone. Switching to video, Eren lifted his arms and stepped forward, finding the perfect angle.

“Don’t forget to sound enthusiastic!” Jean hollered, teeth chattering. The dumb ass didn’t bother covering himself in anyway except for a thin sweatshirt – that he had rolled up to the sleeves. Eren could be a good friend and tell him to put the pot down and roll down his sleeves, but a bigger part of him wanted Jean to learn his lesson if anything were to go wrong. And well, he had his car keys in his pocket so they could go straight to the ER.

“Ready?” Eren yelled, finger hovering over the record button.

“Ready!” Jean’s voice was full of excitement. Eren bit his lip, stifling a laugh.

He tapped the record button and yelled, “DO IT FOR THE VINE!”

Jean, in response, shook his head. “I AIN’T GON’ DO IT!”

Eren, smiling bright, yelled, “DO IT FOR THE VINE, HORSEFACE!”

A pause.

Jean side-eyed Eren.

Eren barked out a laugh.

“I AIN’T GON’ DO IT, MOTHERFUCKER.”

“DO IT FOR THE GODDAMN VINE, _JOHN_.” Eren’s voice was full of challenge.

Jean tossed the boiling water into the air. Instantly, Eren recognized what he had done wrong. Expecting a shower of mist as the hot water evaporated, the water shot back at Jean _because he tossed the water against the wind_. Jean’s scream shot Eren forward instantly, tapping the record button to stop the video as he ignored the steps of the porch and jumped down onto the ground, snow crunching as Jean stumbled backward, dropping the pot and Eren caught him around the waist.

“You fucking idiot,” Eren hissed, spinning Jean around so he could see where the water landed. A misty shower was happening now, but neither boy was watching. Jean’s forearms were red and the right side of his hair was damp while his cheek was reddening at an alarming rate. “You stupid fucking idiot.”

“Hah?” Jean ran a hand through his hair, giving himself a nice disheveled look, before wincing at the movements of his fingers. Ignoring the empty pot, Eren grabbed Jean by the sleeve and pulled him toward the direction of the driveway.

Once they were both seated in the car, Eren twisted in his seat and punched Jean as hard as he could in the shoulder. Jean hissed and flashed an angry glare that caused his hazel eyes to look threatening. A frown tugged on Eren’s lips as he ignored the look and focused on Jean’s cheek instead.

Turning forward, Eren pulled on his seat belt and placed the keys in the ignition. With his foot settling on the brake and his hand on the keys, he asked solemnly, “Is it because you were caught up in the taunt? When I said your name wrong?”

He could see Jean frown, shaking his head. “No, of course not.”

Feeling only the smallest bit relieved, Eren started the car and backed out of the driveway, en route to the emergency room.

 

* * *

 

Eren punched himself in the leg, repeatedly.

“Stop it,” Jean snapped in a soft voice. However soft he spoke, Eren could hear the underlining pain.

Ten minutes into their drive, Jean was in too much pain to move, let alone speak. Eren, with a red-face and gritted teeth, explained their experiment to a doctor, who determined right away that Jean would suffer—

“Second degree burns, Jean!” Eren yelled. He shoved his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots. He was visibly shaking with anger. Jean had the decency to look ashamed. “I can already see a blister forming on your face.”

“Does this mean I’ll be ugly for a change?” Jean asked.

"Don’t." Eren muttered, biting his lip to conceal the smile fighting to break free. The absurdity of it all.

Eren felt Jean’s shoulder brush his own. As if to say _I knew I could get a smile out of you_. Eren bumped his elbow into Jean’s to say _I didn’t smile though, jackass_.

"I’m sorry," Jean murmured in the slight space between them. "I knew what I was doing – I wanted the results for the vine. Everyone else has posted videos, but never for the purpose to see what would happen."

Eren let his head drop backward, staring skyward. He only managed to shake his head and roll his eyes so hard he was afraid they’d get stuck in the back of his head. Jean nipped lightly at his exposed neck; Eren responded deep in his throat. Jean was twisted toward Eren so that his left cheek – his unblemished side – rubbed against Eren’s own as his nose brushed down his throat and he nipped at the soft skin along the way before settling into the crook of his shoulder.

"You’re a fucking idiot," Eren repeated. He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out Jean’s phone. Pulling up the Vine app, Eren slid off the table he was occupying in the doctors office with Jean, and angled himself and the phone toward Jean, who stared on with narrowed eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Eren’s smile was sinister. “Oh, just letting the kids—”

He held his thumb down on the screen, capturing Jean’s burns and blisters perfectly in the bright light of the room, and turned the camera toward himself and with his best smile, said, “Don’t do it for the Vine, kids.”

The video uploaded instantly and he scrolled down to the actual “science experiment” video and noted there was already over 50k likes and revines. It had been uploaded for less than an hour. Exiting the app, he pulled up his conversation with Connie and brought up the camera, capturing yet another picture of Jean, and sent it to their friend who decided to bail on their hang-out session today for Sasha.

The message attached to the photo read: _Jean’s ugly now, pass it on._


End file.
